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Saturday, July 15, 2006

Like A Star

They say if you have something on your mind that's bothering you,
you write it down. There are a lot of things that's bothering me.. a whole lot!!
Since the big change in my life.. ( i should be over it by now, it's been..what? 8 months) but no..it's not as easy as I thought it would be.. one day you're fine and couldn't be bothered, and the next day it's all back in your head.. and the endless what ifs and whys..

"Why things are not coming my way?"
"If only i could go back and fix everything.."

And it's all in the mind, they said. The problem with me is that i think way too much.. yes very very unhealthy.. and very very depressing.. my only hope is that God has better things to offer for me.. Amin


Being in this "awas tapir melintas" area doesn't help either. It's making me more and more miserable.. can't do much. Seeing friends can only be done on the weekends..Everyone has their own life now..A best friend started her career two weeks ago.. Wasn't her ideal career but it's a good way to earn your first paycheck.. Others have classes to attend. So phone calls are the best remedy. (she hasn't called during lunch anymore so i guess she's doing alright)

"What about you?," they ask. "What you been up to?,"

Oh me, you ask. well.. i'm pretty much jobless. a blogger still.and a daydreamer.. *sigh*

Waiting is very agonizing. I've been to one interview with PETRONAS and i'm really counting on it. i mean there's an 80% chance that i'll land a job there but it's just a matter of availability. PETRONAS no longer employ IT grads other than their Scholars (I'm an exception to the rule, so i really need to grab this opportunity.) My 5 years of studying at Uniten goes down the drain, just like that, since the job i might land has nothing to do with IT. I really want to be in the PETRONAS family. My dad has been with PETRONAS for 30 years, both my sister and brother-in-law, and my brother are with PETRONAS too. Not to forget himself,too. I grew up with PETRONAS. i know the PETRONAS' songs by heart.

So back to this interview thing. The result will be out in 3 weeks. by then i will know where i will be posted, and stuff. Even my dad couldn't take a peek at it. Not even himself.
I have reported myself to JPA (my sponsor) . So they too will call me to report for duty anytime. So it's whichever comes first now. .*sigh*

It's at times like this i miss being with fellow activity friends, nana, azera,yaya,zura and the rest. when we were doing things like we just don't care. the late night chat at the balcony of our on-campus apartment, the futsal matches, a&w pj, karaoke session, aihhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
need to gather friends back la..

O yeah.. before i forgot.. say hello to the latest addition to my family, the adorable little Mohd Zahirul Naufal, my nephew. I have yet to see him, but i will on Thursday. My sister will be here for a month. And just like a star,he's another reason to smile =)

btw the picture, from left to right: Nurin,mom,Naufal

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