"Newlyweds become oldyweds, and oldyweds are the reasons that families work..."

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Monday, November 27, 2006

When cruelty strikes..YIKES

life has its own cruelty, in its own way. One day you're as happy as one can be, and the next day, before you even know it, you fell hard,head first, down to the ground, and thats when reality hit you on the face, giving you a very clear view that life, isnt always as perfect you thought it will be.

No, never, not gonna. So dream on.., if you think you can have the best of everything in the world.

If i could change one thing about my life.., and no, it's not the face, i may have imperfect face structure or whatever, but who am i to complain? God has made each one of us uniquely different from others. So, lets keep it that way, (unless you really have to..for example restructure your face, after an accident).

the one thing that i would change is, the doubts that i have, or still have. These doubts have taken their tolls on my life, my love life, and making everything hard.

As much as i hate to have doubts, i also can't help but to feel insecure,along the way, even over little things. Like having trust.

My curiosity has finally caused me such big trouble. The urge to know, and finding out has made me a very self-doubting person.And I'm scared of the situation that i myself, has created.
But i'm a very serene person. I survived the whole year keeping my feelings to myself. And this should made me brave.I should be ready for any more challenges in the years to come.. Maybe it's God's way to assess me.

So when himself got back to me, i reckon that this may be my remuneration,for keeping my cool, and taking everything tranquilly.

This is when they say "when you love somebody, let him go, if he comes back, you're meant to be"

Friday, November 3, 2006

I'm not missing you.

enjoying a cup of hot chocolate has never been better to combat this very cold ambience here at work. oh yes. i'm a chocoholic so bad that even my morning drinks have to be chocolate based.

currently playing on my wmp playlist is: I'm not Missing you.

The song that i hum almost all the time because the song is 'very' ME. I felt stronger everytime i sing or listen to this song. i even had asked j to listen to it, introducing it to him as a very 'spirit-lifting' song for broken hearts.Never been better.

I never get bored of it, and i even got it auto-repeated. Whenever i hear it, i feel like punching the heartbreaker on the face, smashing it into pieces, and thanking him for messing up my life. you mess up my life, i mess up your face.

Just when i was about to make 'I'm not missing you' as my theme song, there he came, knocking. he's been around for a while now, it's just that he hasnt exactly knock the door. And i havent exactly invited him inside. So now, he wanted to come in.

Everything's coming back to me now. Who in their right mind would forget what they've done together for the past years. I'm confused myself, part of me wants to believe he's really here to stay, and the other part is.., afraid, to learn that i might get hurt again. I have suffered enough the past one year. But i kept my spirit high.. and it paid off.

But i can really see that he's for real. He insisted to meet both my parents, and he insisted that i meet his mom.he talked about getting married,if God willing after my brother's wedding (and he's not even engaged yet!).And that will be 3 years from now.He talked about me making him happy, and able to take care of him. he said he's happy when he's with me and such.And that i've always been that special person in his life, and always will be.

His mom's thrilled with the fact that we're getting back together.

The meeting with mom and dad went really well and i really hope j got the idea of his acceptance in the family. Mom and dad are very fond of him the very minute i introduced their future son-in-law 3 years ago. I remembered mom was the one who was worried sick when j felt sick just before Ramadhan. I was by his side and mom called every other hour to get the latest update on his condition. He should know by then that he's already a part of my family.and it's best that he remained in my family.

The bond he built with mom and dad had really made me realized how special he is to me, and my family. It definitely mended this broken heart.

If you love somebody, let him go. If he comes back, the love is really yours.

..and we are officially as one.