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Monday, April 6, 2009

There's a road going down the other side of this hill

The voices in my head always tell me these things;

  • There are many empty spaces to be filled.
  • There are friends who are dear to you that you need to catch up on.
  • There are hearts to be reached.
  • There are so many life requests to be fulfilled.
  • There is a wedding to prepare - and it isn't anyone else's but your own.
  • There are other things that evolve after the 8-5pm and these things are not just about the feel good times that you think you enjoy a lot.
  • There are bonds that you need to work on.
  • There are skills to be brushed.
  • There is a future ahead that you need to start thinking of.
  • You think you are invincible. You want to think you are invincible.
  • You know you can't stand these things anymore.
  • You know you need to run away.You know you need to get out.
  • You know you want to leave them all behind. But you can't, because you're in THE comfort zone...or so you think.
  • But you are in control. You know what's holding you back and you know you can fight them.

I have a control on this. I know what's holding me back and I know I can fight them. But it was not easy, and that had left me living in total ignorance and denial.

Self-denial. Self-discipline. I need these.I am in serious need of these. A lot, please.

I need them just in time before reality hit me hard on the face, giving me a sweet taste of the real things -the real things that I tend to ignore, the small things that I have forgotten, the big things that I look up upon and in the end do not do me any good.

There are things that I need to slow down on. There are things that I need to stop doing entirely.

There are things that I need to start focusing on... and I need to start it immediately.

There are things in the list that I need to work on, and I'b be sorry if I don't start it now.

My fiance always tells me that I am no Robot, so there is no need to act like one. He is right. And coming back to my senses, there are things that I need to remember - I am not invincible, we're only people.

And I told myself this today;

Finding a paradise isn't easy... but still, there's a road going down the other side of this hill. All I have to do is work my way to other side...

And just one word to stick to - SELF-DENIAL. For real.

1 comment:

G4F4 said...

some how or rather, this entry is directly related to what I am experiencing now .. hmmmm .. thanx for reminding Ushna !! long live ushna & Jashar ! :D